time out

i'm taking a break. 

i'm re-evaulating, i've come to realize i have no concept of what i'm doing. or why.

i guess i forgot you never go with your first idea.

i'm starting over again. as soon as i have something, i'll post it.

negatives 2

in the lab right now. just finished developing these bad boys.

i had a little trouble in the beginning. but i feel like i'm getting closer and i'm working towards the right direction.

i'm going to spot putting pressure on myself. i need to understand that models with leave town and move away and that if i really want them, i could go to them and if they are interested in the project they can come to me.

i've been begun to stop worrying about things that are out of my control.

no progress

haven't photographed all weekend. but plan to photograph tonight.
wish me luck.
post as soon as i develop.

negatives

this is the image i photographed that brought it all back for me.

it's all a mystery

I have posted the negatives yet because I’m embarrassed of them. They look as if someone who has never photographed before shot them. But I promise to post them because I’ll appreciate seeing them when I’m done in a year.
I’ve been insecure and frustrated about where this project is going, or lack there of. My negatives aren’t turning out well, I can’t seem to get the lighting right, I’m having models backing out and moving away. The pressure to get this project rolling is mounting and I’m becoming my own worst enemy.
I’ve been working on the negatives since this morning; I took a break to get coffee, which was the best idea. I came back, randomly decided to check on my old flickr site and remembered why I decided to photograph these portraits. I remembered how I wanted them to look and what kind of lighting I had planed out. I got lost in the whirlwind of wanting this to be something great, that I forgot that I had already had something great planned out.
What I’ve been doing is:
- Having a model in front of a black background. In a blacked out studio. With 2 tungsten lights facing the model directly in front of them. I have shot 35mm and 120 with my dual lens.

What I need to be doing is:
- Photographing with some natural light, and one extend-y head desk lamp, lit from below and a white background. Although I’ve been insecure about the grain in the 35mm, I think that now that I’ll be adding the natural light it will be easier for me to also practice on my dual lens. I’ll still keep all the portraits black and white.
I’ll be practicing this soon. And updating.

Joie de vivre

spent the day in the lab. developed practice rolls 2 & 3.
i photographed with my 35mm and also my dual lens.
i'm favoring the comfort of my 35mm right now.